It is 2:12 am. I am writing this because I feel I need to do this. I had the intention to do so for a long time, and maybe it is exactly the moment which I have been waiting for so long time.
I am tired of my boredom, which I have not found the best way to overcome during these nights.
I feel stuck at this point of my life, and while I see there are great opportunities ahead, I just do not know how to spend the time which I have on my shoulders right now.
I have applied during last few days for all possible reasonable loans and credit cards I could have applied, with the main purpose to move to some other place, where I will have more room that I have now; where I actually will be able to do my favourite way of thinking, which is walking in a circle or back-and-forth and planning, dreaming, analysing. The current room cannot afford such luxury.
I guess at this point the only solution is to write, write, write. I have been anticipating such moment for a long time, and I hope it has come.
In the following pages I am going to describe what I believe in, how I come to such beliefs, and how to achieve the dreams I have.
Recently, I have been thinking a lot on how to be wealthy. How to be healthy. How to be happy. Essentially, there are several requirements for that. All these things are interconnected.
A few days ago I came up with the following principles, in a few simple and short words: work, save and invest, insure, protect, grow and be honest.
I wonder on how every person can be wealthy and happy? And following those principles, I believe this is the way to go. First, you should work. You should create the value for yourself and for others. Secondly, you should save and invest, to make sure that there will be enough resources for the future in general and particularly for new developments. Thirdly, you should insure what you are doing because there is a chance of something going wrongly. Fourthly, you need to be able to protect what you have, to make sure that nobody can touch or harm what is yours if anybody with bad intentions try to do so. Fifthly, you need to grow and educate other people to make sure that the good will be continued in the future by others. Sixthly, all of this makes sense if you are honest, because if you are not, what is the point?
These are really basics. I believe with such plan in action everybody can be happy, wealthy, achieve the best of their potential.
Quite often recently I am wondering why people are poor? Why I am poor and not financially independent? Why I cannot be as healthy and as happy as I would like to?
I do believe there are enough wealth, technology, resources for all of us on this planet. If we carefully plan and act, if we make sure we pass the best to our children, if we are careful and happy at the same time, everybody can be happy.
The way I wrote everything above I believe is the best way I can do for now. But that is fine. It is better to try your best, rather than to wait until you can do it later.
I really wish there would be more opportunities for me to work on what I am dreaming about, but currently I do not have them. I am stuck in some sense. At the same time, if somebody compares, I have extremely a lot already: I have a great job with great people and great mission, I live in a reasonably safe city, with good transportation, food provision, housing. I guess the point is that I feel I need more. But I think that is fine since, first of all, it is possible to get more, that is for sure, and secondly, I am quite certain, it is possible for everyone to get more in a good and fruitful way.
Sometimes I dream of being able to meditate for the rest of time I do not work. I feel that the time that I do not work or do not communicate with my relatives, is really useless. I wish sometimes I could just come home after my enjoyable work, have a meal, talk with the people I love, and then switch the button in my brain and sleep, recover, enjoy the dreams. The same on weekends: be active for 3-5 hours, enjoy the walk, do some laundry, and then switch off the brain to the meditation/sleeping mode.
I guess the main motivation for that is financial. I definitely know many things I would like to do, but all of them require money. Thus, I imagine that it is more productive just to switch off the brain, wait until you save those money, and then use them for the good. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), I have not found that button in my brain yet. Philosophically, maybe there should not be such button: the time might be the most important commodity, and you are suppose to use it wisely; you are not supposed to waste it.
Alternatively, I would like to be able to borrow money, but again, first of all, it seems I cannot borrow enough, and secondly, rationally, I think it might be not the best idea... I am not sure.
Ideally, I can earn and make a lot of good money. I am trying to do so, but it is not straightforward.
I tried different ways to do so, including such obvious ones as analysing the stock/current exchange markets using the machine learning algorithms, but I was not able to succeed in creating a reliable income flow out of this without real effort, thus harming my other work commitments significantly.
I have watched so many TV shows and movies by this point that I am really bored of that. I have been recently re-watching Harry Potter series, and it helped to feel the magic. It is a really good movie. But I am even bored of it. And I believe that is for the good.
I tried to educate myself, using Coursera or some books, and I have succeeded up to some extent, but again I find this boring.
In the ideal world, I wish I could work now 50-60 hours with other people, have very good income and all other my needs satisfied, including the need for sex and intimacy with my partner and wife.
Essentially, I believe that there are fundamental opportunities for me and for everybody else to be happy, to be wealthy, to have our needs satisfied in good shelter, medicine, education, work opportunities, transportation, healthy food, good environments, minimum stress life. This might sound utopian, but I truly believe in it. And, also, what is the point otherwise?
I am asking myself a question: who am I? I define myself by two main components: my main ideas and beliefs, first of all, and secondly, also very importantly, the people I love and care about. The first component, my ideas and beliefs, can be easily put into writing and active projects, shared in the brains of others, and I should not be afraid of doing at almost any point, because it will be continued even if I am not alive anymore. The second component, is actually more crucial in regard to the accidental death, because I am one of few to those whom I love.
Now I see my life goal is to perform to main activities: continue spreading and caring about the ideas and projects I have, and also productively being and acting with people I love.
I am very interested in finding ways how to have more money, how to be happier, how to make bigger impact in a good way on my life and the lives of others. I feel there are limiting factors that I have currently, and I am very curious how to overcome them…
I guess everything written above describes the main state of my current thoughts.
Oh, also. I do believe in “magic”. I do believe that there is enormous power that we can use. It is just the question of how to learn how to use it. Whether to use it for the good or for the bad. And to practice using it.
It should be reasonably simple to be wealthy, to be happy, to do good projects. And there are a lot of people who are doing it. The question is what are the limiting factors for me right now and how to overcome them?
Should I play lottery? Should I apply for loans? Should I find a way to find seed investments? Should I invent a project that will be important for others and they will pay me, and if so, how to do that in a reasonably quick manner?
Once I have described the important beliefs and current thoughts above, to the amount possible at such first and quick draft, I think the next step is to go through moments in my life which I find essential for my development. That is to help myself, to see retrospectively what has happened, and use that for the future acts. Also, it might be the case that it might help somebody else, if possible by any means.
I was born on the 13th of May, 1991. It was Monday. In Krasnoyarsk, Russia.
I had my first computer when I was 4 or 5 years old. It was DOS. I played different interesting games, including the Prince of Persia.
I did not attend kindergarten, and spent most of time with my relatives. I think until I was 5 or 6, I did not have any young fellow friends, at least I do not remember any.
I learnt different DOS commands, was capable of doing some basic OS stuff. Later, I was introduced to Windows, probably Windows 95?
I watched a lot of animation movies for children when I was young. There were some good Russian movies, and a lot of Disney movies.
I played a lot with a lot of LEGO. I had other toys.
My parents, father and mother, my grandfather (another was already dead), my grandmothers, my aunt and my grand-grandmother really loved me. They cared about me and I felt a lot of love.
I especially recall the love of my grand-grandmother, who read me a lot of books, sang me a lot of songs with me in bed, played with me a lot. All other relatives did the same, but I believe my grand-grandmother has played a very essential role as well.
At the age of 5 or 6, I was doing some prep-school. We had good classes, including molding, drawing?, some English classes. Probably, some others. My grandfather was teaching one of classes there, he taught model shipbuilding.
When I was 6 or 7, in the prep-school, I was running in the long-long corridor there, and I had accidentally run into the opening door. The doors in that big prep-school were opening outside rather than inside. I had crashed into the door and that was not nice. I guess that was my first experience of why it is important to have good, thought-through architecture and design. I felt it by my minorly injured head :).
When I was 6, my lovely sister was born.
At the age of 7 I started the primary school. It was a gymnasium, and I studied there for the whole school period of my life, from the first grade till the end of the high school. The school has had mostly humanitarian inclination, especially into foreign language studies.
I loved studying. I do not think I was an extremely good student from the beginning, but by the end of the high school, I really knew how to study well. Both in terms of the literal studying and practice, and also in terms of getting good marks and passing exams well.
At the age of around 10-12 years old, one of my classmates started courses in programming. He was inspired by his older brother who had already been a successful software engineer. I felt that it is interesting and I joined him.
It was Visual Basic course. It was really fun and interesting. I cried at least once, if I remember correctly, because I was not able to write a program, or something like that.
At the age of around 13-14 years old, I was accidentally sent by my parents, on the advice of my mother’s friend, to a school “summer” camp (which was actually a winter camp) for 10 days. It was outside of my native city, maybe a few hours by train.
It was my first time outside of the home for such long time.
I came there with my classmate, who was my friend.
My parents have also arrived to the same place, to live in a renting guest nearby (but not in the building of the summer camp).
The first day in the camp was fine. At the evening, there was some kind of introductory session, where all students (thus schoolchildren of age approximately 11 to 17) were introducing to each other and to tutors via some games and presentations.
I, however, decided that I do not feel very well and stayed alone in another building on the camp side. I felt really scary, really lost. I started crying and cried for, maybe, 50 minutes or even 2 hours. I was alone in the room and I was alone in the big building. When the tutors came, I said that I do not feel well at all and asked to let me go to my parents.
My came to the guest house where my parents were accommodated with my sister, and there was a conversation. Essentially, I had the decision to make, whether to lose it and be with my parents, or to overcome it and get back to the summer camp. I guess I made the latter choice. I got back with the tutor who were escorting me to my parents.
The idea of that summer school was quite simple. Schoolchildren were divided into 3-5 teams or so called “companies”. Each company had a manager (CEO, if you wish :) ), software engineers (programmers), designers and PR-people. There have been programs (software) to be developed, and companies competed with each other. They had to develop software in 5-8 days. Usually it was some simple games, educational software for school teachers to help them or some web-sites (like web-sites of those companies for themselves or web-sites of some schools).
Every other evening there were company evaluations, in which tutors measured the progress of each company, either privately or publicly. The final evening was the big event, where each company presented their work and was finally evaluated. In the meantime, during the whole school, there were other social and professional events for training and competition between companies and also individual members.
Each company and each individual had their bank account. The school had virtual currency called “bukazoid”. For good performance in professional and social activities companies and individuals were getting bukazoids to their accounts. There also were some fines, e.g. when somebody’s behaviour was intolerable (e.g. for smoking or usual vulgar language). Ultimately, the company with the highest score won the competition and was getting its price, e.g. the money award that could be spread across all members of the company. The individual with the highest bank account was also getting an award: the diploma and some small money amount.
These “summer” schools were the place where I finally was able to separate myself from home for at least a few days and thus grow, the place where I socialised outside of normal school, the place where I learnt what it means to work in a team, what it means to compete, to develop and advertise the product.
In total, I had participated in about 7 summer schools like that as a student and in about 5 schools like that as a tutor. All those schools were organised by the same group of people and I am extremely grateful to them for that. I believe those schools are an important component of my success so far in my life.
Just to provide a few examples of important decisions I had to make and other practises that I learnt from such schools.
The first example is when I already was a manager of a company in school. (It took me 2-3 summer schools to get enough experience to become a manager after being several times a successful software engineer.) There was a person, a student, who was smoking, and smoking was obviously prohibited in school for students. Those, who smoked, were fined and, if repeatedly several times, expelled back to their home. That student, who smoked, was a member of our company, our team, and we have been already fined for his behaviour several times. Finally, there had come a decision to make as a company, where to agree for him to be expelled or to vouch for him as a company, to “save” him being in school, but to potentially face a huge charge if he repeats his behaviour. To be honest, I do not remember exactly why this choice happened in the first place, in other words, why he was not expelled at the first place after several times being caught on smoking.
We have discussed, as a company, what we should do, and we have made the decision to vouch for him. That was a risk, quite a huge risk, but I believe it had really united the team (there were about 15 of hours in that company), and finally we won the competition that time.
I believe morally, for all members, including that person, and all other members of the company, it was very important to make that decision as well.
Another example was at another session of school. We were leading the competition, our company had very good final evening reports, and we were probably going to celebrate the victory tomorrow, on the morning of the final day. However, on the final night three members of our team drank, and that was obviously also forbidden. The worst part, they drank really a lot, and that led to them having serious tensions with tutors who caught them. Finally, they were just fined really-really a lot, which led our company from being on the first place to the last place, if I remember correctly.
That time I also was a manager. At the end of that school, we also were going to sign simple contracts to pass what we had developed (very simple educational games and software) to school teachers for symbolic fee in real currency. That contract signing was supposed to happen on the final morning of the final day, before the final ceremony award where the company who won should had been announced.
The solution for our company to win, notwithstanding the enormous fines we had just faced, was to negotiate signing our selling contracts to be in bukazoids rather than in real currency. And that has worked: the tutors agreed with my idea, the contracts were signed, we have lost small amount of contract money, but have won the competition.
Just to mention that those three students on our team, who drank, they felt bad and were really sorry.
After participating in about 5 summer school like that, all organised by the same people and with the same theme, there had proposed an idea to establish a company which will try to perform “real-life” orders. Around 10 students, all are schoolchildren of age 14-17, organised a company called “Firm IT” (Information Technologies). I was the manager of that firm.
During our work for around 2 years, we have achieved quite a few things. For example, we freelanced together a web-site for local photographer. We also developed from scratch around 5 small educational computer games for PC and issued them on a compact disk. We sold around 100 copies of that CD to real people at a price of around 1-2 pounds per CD. We have even issued our own shares privately, of our company.
In addition to these activities with people and students from those summer schools, I had also did a few projects on my own.
For example, thanks to my father, I was able to write a software for an interactive kiosk which was capable of serving payments to users with the help of cash machine. We had a prototype of such kiosk and it worked for a few months for real.
I started using Internet when I was around 10-12 years old, to the best of my memory. Firstly, we had a slow modem that was connecting to a land-line. The speed was extremely slow, but it still was worth it. I do remember playing online StarCraft with one of my friends, that was truly amazing.
A few years later, our house has become connected to a local internet provider. In addition to just providing the Internet access, there has been a community of users of that provider. There were chat rooms, there was a local forum, etc.
I guess this community has been very influential on my life as well. I spent, I guess, thousands of hours in those chat rooms and on that forum threads, discussing different things with different people. It was another opportunity for me to communicate via the screen (and meeting in person with those people on occasion).
I met there my first real international friends, a French and a Pakistanian.
In addition to just socialising there, I used those social opportunities to use and develop my technical skills.
For example, my first chatbot application was created to help manage chat rooms. The chatbot was written in Visual Basic, and I learnt how to transfer data via Internet, how to operate communication with
To be written:
Literature and Beauty competitions.
School newspaper publishing.
Economics. Switch to Mathematics.
Declined from EPFL first time.
The summer of summer schools.
Finding a lab to work in.
Collecting documents for the Presidential scholarship. 6-7 recommendation letters.
Hard choices to make (subscription).
Doing some student research remotely for MIT.
Getting US visa.
MIT. Magical year. Ideal environment for research. Just research, research, research.
Dreaming of Oxford.
First real love.
Visa to the UK.
Oxford (student exchange).
Lost in love.
Being sick all the time. Excessive sex urge and masturbation.
Spending all savings [good reminder].
Admission and results.
First psychotherapy in my life.
Tours to schools.
Last months in Oxford.
Starting my Master’s and trying to earn money.
Failing with earning money (tried different options: clever house, cleaning companies, trading, etc), (partially) succeeding with the Master’s.
Buddhism and religion in my life. Reading the Bible. Getting familiar with Christianity, Judaism and Buddhism, as well as with other religions briefly. Employing the religion in my life.
Losing financial independence after losing the virginity.
Second psychotherapy in my life.
Getting US visa. Turning around again.
Starting the second start-up in my life. A lot of fun, crazy responsibility, making some work done, and serious bowel habit problems.
Money bit back. Hard. First loan. Second loan. Third loan. Fourth loan.
Some successes and lonely nights with the light on.
Defending my thesis. Making one of my grandma-s visiting me in London.
Making hard choices: finally unavoidably graduating from the state of being a student and making further choices.
The choices are made. Looking for a job, getting the visa again. A few hours before going to Belarussia, the last minute letter from the Home Office and applying for the visa “at the last moment” “as usual”.
Getting my job in London. Securing accommodation.
First months in London.
Third psychotherapy in my life.
Being crazy. Desire to fulfil my work obligations in a very good way, money limitations, stress from the start-up, the Tube, the accommodation.
Periods of feeling really bad. Serious headaches, lost of balance, bad bowel movements (going to the toilet 3-4 times per day), heart problems. Becoming better.
What to do next? --- just the question.
Masturbation, porno addiction and overcoming it.
Writing an AI to trade; to acquire consciousness; write a program…
But why not to just write a book?.. I have understood that it is a more powerful program to write. If written correctly, it can be executed by millions or billions of people, like the Bible (or other religious books), Harry Potter, etc.
The feel to have a wife/a husband/a partner.
On why we do not necessarily need an artificial intelligence (what the point if we already have 7 billion natural intelligences?).
Vegetarianism. Recycling. Mindfulness.
Sugar, tea and eating addiction. Smoking, drugs and the need for simulators in our lives.
On feeling lost in citizenship. Being slightly afraid of doing business in Russia. Seeking opportunities in other places. Becoming a dual citizen? Is it possible to really be a dual citizen in the US? Feeling uncomfortable applying for visas and waiting so long (US visa; UK entrance).
How to be wealthy, happy and productive?
How to work efficiently? How to continue studying? How to do great things? How to live efficient and happy life?
What led me to where I am right now (and what can lead me to where I am going)? First of all, it is the choice making. Secondly, it is ability to learn. Thirdly, it is the ability to focus on work and get it done. Fourthly, these are the dreams and motivation. Fifthly, these are the chances (the luck): the luck to have good start and the luck to have many of my choices success in my favour.
Regrets and sins.
Obviously, there is a lot I regret and repent about. I came to the conclusion that it is impossible to not to sin, at least at the current development. I regret treating people not to the best of my ability, not being honest and proud of my actions all the time in my life.
I guess I also regret that the understanding of the importance of being strong emotionally, physically, socially, and being financially independent is only starting to appear in my mind.
However, I do believe that while there are both light and dark within us, it is ultimately up to us to to make the choice, or let be more precise, be making the choice every day and every moment.
I am going to be wealthy, happy, active, healthy, insured, being with people I love.
I am going to work on the applications of technology, computer science, robotics, machine learning and artificial intelligence for the good of myself and other people. Especially, the following areas are of interest to me: medicine, healthy and harmless food, shelters, transportation, future forecasting, education, recreation, safe environment provision, energy sources, Universe development.
I am working efficiently with interesting and motivated people. By providing my services, I earn a lot of money, have fruitfully invested a lot, insured.
I live in a good environment, with enough space for myself and others.
I grow professionally, as well as spiritually, and so people around me. I contribute to the same factors for other beings.
Recording and analysing expenses.
Pluses for routine.
Keeping a diary.
Being focused on goals.
Chapter I. Why does the Universe exists?
Chapter II. What should be do to make the world a better place?
Chapter III. What is the path? Can we hack the Universe and should we?
Yes, we can, but actually the real solution is probably easier.
Technique I. Talk to the point. Do stuff.
Chapter IV. Being a vegetarian/vegan and avoid watching erotica movies.
Chapter V. Should I use machine learning to develop an AI that will successfully trade stocks/currencies, and thus become reach?
Chapter VI. Should I play lottery? For and againsts.
What I have found useful in my life.
Lego, computers and programming.
Math and programming.
Participating in projects: newspaper, etc.
Participating in competitions and apply everywhere where you think you need to apply.
Read good books, watch good movies, play good games, eat good food.
Meditate. Read spiritual literature.
Chapter NULLA. Why does this book exist?
So there are a few reasons for that. I feel writing a book might be helpful for several reasons:
(1) You put part of yourself into the world in some other form, which is different from your standard body existence. This helps to distribute yourself in the Universe, as well as prolong your life beyond your death.
(2) I believe my experience and understanding is of benefit for some people.
(3) Who knows, there is even a chance to earn some money by distributing the book, if people find it is really of interest for them (to be honest, should I assume what I am going to write will be worthless for everyone, I would not do it).
(4) Expressing ideas and thoughts is usually quite good self-therapy. I find it very enjoyable.
It is fair to mention that one of motivators to write it was that I had been feeling quite lonely and lost. While I have been having great and fulfilling job with amazing people, but personally I had felt really lost. I had felt
(2) miss communication and interaction with my beloved ones,
(3) feel my sexual desires are causing related starvation,
(4) and potentially most importantly I feel the urgency to work on all topics in which I am very interested, which I cannot exactly follow due to the lack of resources.
Sources of inspiration
2) Acknowledgement of doing something wrong and not fixing it.
3) Feeling that I have been treated unfair and first killing.
Star Wars, Harry Potter, and force. Doctor Strange.
Simpsons and Futurama
Babylon 5. Game of Thrones.
How to influence people.
Think and grow rich
"Ponzi scheme" analogy.
Seduction. 48 laws of power. Lpve and marriage
Religion is important. Culture. History.
Why to prove there is no God? Useless. I believe there is.
Different religions. One God.
Imagine there is a chance
Like imagine there is a chance to prevent the potential big war which might be similar to the World War II.
Or a chance to cure an important person for you, who might become accidentally seriously sick. Or prov
What to do if you are going to die.
Relax. Thank you people around you. Be mindful. Remember your dreams.
Harry Potter, and three unforgivable spells.
I am a big fan of Harry Potter books (as well as movies), and love them in many respects.
One of many ideas in the book, which attract my attention, is the idea of three unforgivable spells. Spells, in general, are the wish of children and adults, since they allow you to change the world around you almost simultaneously. Once you have practised any of them enough (and I mean good ones as well), all you need is your unbroken wand, your hand and tongue to make the magic.
Three unforgivable sins are quite bad since they kill, tortures (via excruciating pain) and allow you to control another person’s actions on your demand. I think most of us would agree that such spells are bad and should not be used.
However, the interesting thing is that we use them all the time these days. Not directly, without our own unbroken magic wands, but by our choice and actions. We buy food of animals that were killed or to be killed (thus Avada Kedavra), we might torture them for the same reasons of obtaining food and clothes (thus Crucio), and we also sometimes manipulate other people by manipulating the truth or even sometimes by lying.
The point I am trying to make is that “magic” is not so hard to achieve (including good “spells”), but from some perspective we also cast three unforgivable sins in some way.
In process of writing by Yura Perov (August 2017 to present).